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Gratitude Collab

Compose a letter to someone who has helped shape or mold you into the person you are today, and thank them for what they have done.

Sunday, November 26, 2000

Dear Patty,

Earlier this year I wrote out in my journal a list of about a dozen women for whom I've been thankful over the years. I titled the list "The Most Influential Women In My Life," and you were the first woman on the list, from a chronological point of view, who wasn't a relative or a teacher.

You might have been the lead guitar and the lead voice of the folk group at church on Sundays, but you sang a song to me, so to speak, that no one else could hear. If the song had a name, it would have been called, "I believe in you."

You believed in me in ways I'm still not sure I understand. You constantly encouraged me to sing louder, to speak up, to not be shy. It wasn't your job to get us to sing, because we were all there voluntarily. But you always made a point of saying something to me that encouraged me to stretch my limits, be that singing or anything else. You told me you wanted to me to "break out of [my] shell." You'd pull me up to the front of the group to sing with you and to sing loudly, rather than let me hide in the back row so I could easily not be heard.

I was in 7th grade when I joined the folk group. It was my first year in junior high too. It was the start of all those awkward teenage years. And junior high sucked. My self-esteem was low and dropping, and I had every reason to want to keep to myself. And I remember clearly that Mondays were my favorite day of the week, because it was the day we had practice, and I was happiest there.

It was all your encouragement that watered the seeds of self-worth within me. I cared about you a lot for the fact that you cared about me, but being the teenager-from-hell that I was, I had no clue what I was really feeling exactly. I knew only that I liked it. And I certainly didn't know how to show you any sort of appreciation. In fact, I think I made every effort to show the exact opposite of how I felt. There were times I was outright mean to you. And while I can't remember a single specific, there was one time I think I made you cry. Looking back, it was like a test. If you cared as much as your actions seemed to show, but I obviously was having trouble believing, then if I do something hurtful, you'd be upset. If you don't care, well then I would know that for sure. I don't know why I operated that way. (I'm wondering if I still do that sometimes, in some way, with some people.) I'm sorry for those things. And because I know I never said it then, I just want to tell you now that I'm thankful for all you have ever been to me.

There are people in our lives who influence us in very direct ways, like parents, teachers and best friends. But there are others who influence us in much more subtle ways. I think the faith you had in me during the worst years of my school-age life did wonders to help me have faith in myself, then and now. Thank you.

Love and hugs,

Susan

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