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Sunday, December 24, 2000

Dear Kate,

What makes some Christmases more memorable than others? How do you get into the Christmas spirit year after year? This is what I've been thinking about for the past few days, because this Christmas has certainly been very low key.

I came up with a list of things that help define Christmas spirit for me: music, decorations, presents, cards, food, company, family, friends, children and church. I suppose by choice, I've done Christmas a little half-assed this year.

I can't say I've been a Scrooge, like I was last year, but I certainly don't feel like Christmas is with me the way it should be.

I'm just not terribly motivated. Take decorations, for example. I mean, after all the ceramic houses and PVC people and plastic Evergreens go up, someone's got to dust them off, box them up and put them away, right? More cleaning is so not what I need. So, the houses are out of the boxes. Just the houses. I haven't even plugged them in. I just didn't see the need to go all out with the decorations this year. We didn't plan for any company.

But we do have some stuff up, like a Christmas tree hand towel in the kitchen.

At least this year we have a Christmas tree. It's been three years since my Christmas ornaments have seen the lights, so to speak. Two years ago--our first Christmas as a married couple--we had this small little thing in a flower pot--it was that small. Our apartment was standing-room-only as it was, so we didn't bother with a tree any bigger then what I'd gotten. Last year--our first Christmas in our new house--we sought out to purchase a balled tree that we could plant in the front yard. We finally found one on the 24th that was bigger than we anticipated, so we couldn't get it home till the 26th--yes, AFTER Christmas. But on the same night we saw the balled tree, I ended up getting this smallish, Charlie Brown-type tree that I decorated with lights alone. It ended up leaning a little bit against the wall because the tree stand didn't close tight enough to support it--it was that skinny.

This year's tree is great! It's at least 8 feet, if not taller. It's full and fat and decorated with multicolored lights, a big white star and all my Disney and other ornaments. And it smells wonderful too.

It's Daisy's first Christmas with us. I wondered what she'd be like with the tree: Would she be like Jana's Peanut and swat at the ornaments till they fall and break, or would she be like our Lacey and dive into the boxes arranged under the tree? She seems pretty mesmerized by the ornaments and lights but is definitely more interested in the boxes. It's really cute to watch her.

Joe had really wanted to wrap the front door. I think it's fair to say that if it wasn't for Joe, I might have forgone decorations altogether, but I'm glad I didn't. It's kinda helped me get into the feeling of Christmas. Anyway, I happened to mention to Annie that we wrapped our door in red foil paper. Then she asked if we put a bow on it too. I said no, and she laughed. I have since gone out and bought a fuzzy green bow for it. See? I decorated.

I did manage to send out a few Christmas cards this year. Last year I didn't send a single one. But I did miss some important people cadres. Like aunt and uncle. My parents. Chrispy. (Oops.) Sasha got a Christmas card from me--but cousin Karen hasn't--at least not yet. I can't decide if it's worse to send one late or not at all.

This year would have been a good year to get my family together. We never get together despite how small we are. The last time Christmas Eve was on a Sunday, I had my aunt, uncle, cousin and her family, parents, brother and Joe over for brunch. It was really nice. I made all sorts of finger foods and we picked for a couple hours before everyone left to finish dealing with last-minute Christmas stuff. I didn't do it this year because, again, I just didn't feel motivated. My house would have required too much cleaning, first of all. And second, I really didn't have the time for all that preparation.

Time has been such a big deal these days. And I obviously have an issue with cleaning.

And as for food, I haven't baked a single cookie or pie or cooked anything remotely special in honor of the holidays this year. I used to cook so much more when I lived with Jenn and Jana. Today, the best I could do was make Joe a turkey sandwich before he left for work.

Where presents are concerned, I think I did OK there. I don't think I overspent, but I don't think I underspent either. I got everyone I work with a little something. And I even remembered the doorman in my building. I had to ask him his name when I handed him a Christmas tin of Cadbury chocolate-dipped cookies. Needless to say, Raymond was speechless. He surely wasn't expecting it, but it was probably the one little gift I gave this year that felt good to give.

Music is definitely an important ingredient to Christmas spirit. At work last week, Lisa was playing some Christmas tunes loud enough for the whole department to hear, but a few of people complained they were having trouble concentrating, so she had to turn it down. It was nice while it lasted. And it was definitely getting me inspired. But I can understand how it was a little distracting too. Oh well.

Joe and I had some Christmas music on while we decorated the tree. And he put lights up on the house and on the infamous balled Christmas tree of '99. We don't have as many lights on the house as last year. I used to be in charge of the lights around the front door. I just didn't get to it this year. But that tree on our front lawn is something to talk about!!

I'm not entirely sure who of the nieces and nephews is going to be around tomorrow, but that'll be fun. Kids definitely add something to Christmas.

And church. I haven't been there in a while. Tomorrow morning. Probably.

Perhaps the one thing I didn't put on my list is snow. And we have it. Not much of it. There are probably as many green patches as there are white patches. But there was enough snow for someone down the block to make a snowman that probably stands no taller than my knees. Still, it was cute to see.

I just can't help but think of all the people who are sad this time of year because they've lost someone they love. My heart aches for the woman on the cop-wife e-mail list I'm on who lost her husband this year. And those damn don't-drink-and-drive commercials on the radio, which make me cry every time I hear them, with people remembering loved ones lost in DWI accidents. This is supposed to be such a happy time of year. I know it's not--not for everyone. So I know that I'm very lucky to have all that I have. And even though I've opted to just kick back and take it all in, rather than gear up for the festivities like I would have were I 14, I think I'm kind of enjoying this quiet Christmas.

Maybe I'll straighten up the house a bit more...

Happy, happy holidays.

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