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Gratitude Collab

Compose an entry about someone that has given you some useful advice. What was the advice and how did you apply it to your situation?

Thursday, December 28, 2000

Dear Kate,

My mind wandered a bit as I thinking, "Gee, I wish I had some advice regarding my father." Then I started humming, "Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)." The song is a little old at this point, and it doesn't really help me with my dad, but my mind is good for going off on tangents like that. And then I got inspired for this entry, cuz I originally thought I was going to have to refer back to something I wrote in September. Anyway, I gave the lyrics from this song some thought:

"Ladies and Gentlemen....Wear Sunscreen." My friend's dad has skin cancer on his foot. She says the doctors told him it's possible this is the result of a bad burn from somewhere else on his body many years ago; that skin cancer can relocate like that. Too scary if ya ask me.

"Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth." There's so much to be said for being young. To think how old we felt when we were 18. And then, at 24, to think: "Oh my God, I can't believe I thought that when I was 18." And then you hit 30, and 24 was suddenly such a great place to be. I imagine I'll turn 40 sooner or later (roughly nine years) and miss being 31.

"Don't worry about the future." What? Me worry? I think I've gotten better with that. I think when I remember that everything happens for a reason and our experiences--regardless of how they differ from everyone else's--happen perfectly for our own growth.

"Do one thing that every day that scares you." Gee, that's a tall order, isn't it? I think it's a gift to achieve that goal on a weekly basis. Sheesh, what was the last thing I did that scared me? Hmmm...perhaps I haven't been working hard enough to grow up past where I am right now. I need to work on that one.

"Sing." Music is caffeine for the soul! I find nothing more invigorating (well, almost nothing) than singing at the top of my lungs. In the car. In the shower. At karaoke after a drink or two. (Hey, now there's something scary. I still shake when I get up to sing in public, without having had a couple drinks in me first. It doesn't stop me from getting up there, but perhaps I need more practice without the booze.)

"Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours." It's too easy to mess this one up, largely because all too often we aren't aware of what we are doing, or why. So I guess the preface to this is: "Be aware of what you are getting from your relationships and why." If you can answer that clearly, you can much more easily avoid hurting someone, or getting hurt.

"Floss." I got braces at 25, and some days I miss having those spaces between my teeth.

"Don't waste your time on jealousy." The grass is always greener, but someone else's lawn is always longer and needs to be mowed more frequently, too. You can turn jealousy around, and into a goal for yourself. Use your energy positively. It's so much better for you.

"Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how." There's something to be said for modesty. But sometimes I minimize a perfectly good compliment and take too seriously a perfectly off insult. Why do I do that?

"Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements." I think it's because of this line right here that I finally decided it was OK to throw out canceled checks from five or more years ago--from banks I no longer have accounts at. Now, Joe would be in heaven if they could come out with a convincing song with such lyrics as: "Hanging up your clothes and keeping the house clean is good for your soul..."

"Stretch." I want to take a Yoga class! I have a Bally's membership I was thinking of selling cuz it's no longer convenient for me to get to. I need something like this to be realllly convenient for me if I'm actually gonna do it. Stretching is right behind singing in the Feels Invigorating category.

"Get plenty of calcium." Women especially!! Your bones will thank you when you are 80.

"Don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's." Feels good to think of it that way, doesn't it?

"Dance." This one is definitely behind stretching in the Feels Invigorating category.

"Get to know your parents." My old friend Maria--who was to me in high school what Annie is to me today--always told me to tell my parents everything. To trust them. To listen to them. To let them into my life.

"Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on." At 31, I still have a hard time with the friends-that-go part. But there's definitely something to be said for those precious few. There's even the precious-few-that-go. Like Maria. Like my college roommates. Make time for those precious few, please!! Do yourself that favor. Don't get so busy that you forget who is precious to you.

"Travel." Travel! Travel! Travel! Just do it. And I do forget who it was who once said to travel with your children! They might forget what they got for Christmas three years ago, but they will never forget that family trip to Some Really Cool Place, USA. The memories and photos are priceless.

"Accept certain inalienable truths." Prices will rise, and you will remind everyone younger than you that you remember when gas was 99 cents per gallon.

"Don't expect anyone else to support you." Be self-sufficient in every aspect of your life.

"Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it." Make sense, doesn't it? I've always liked gathering lots of opinions before I make a decision, but I'm practicing more and more when it comes to listening to my gut. No one knows what's best for you better than yourself, right?

But trust me on the traveling.

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