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Monday, November 19, 2001
Sometimes I have something to say, and sometimes I actually say it.
I suppose I figured out this most recent self-discovery over the past few months. It seems I'm most articulate when I'm upset or pissed off or charged up. I tend to keep my mouth shut when I'm sitting on the fence, hovering over possibilities, not willing to take a position. It never means I have no opinion--and it often means I can argue either side. It's those times that I'm just not willing to commit my thoughts--I'd rather have what seems like "no opinion." Often, I'm just plain old wishy-washy. But I know it, and I'm OK with that some of the time.
Without blow-by-blow examples, I think I work hard, but mostly I've done just what the boss wants. I'm getting to a point in my career where I'm actually allowed to speak up when it won't be considered talking back, like I can get away with something now that two years ago I felt I might have been fired for. But, more important, I taking certain positions because I'm finding I need to.
I've been getting charged up.
And, I've been shaking in my skin every single time I say what I feel needs to be said. It's like public speaking when you aren't used to it. Or singing karaoke. Getting on stage in front of an audience to sing something you've probably never sang outside of your car or shower can be pretty terrifying the first few times. But you get used to it.
The trick is to keep doing what feels frightening until it doesn't anymore. Eventually, it becomes second nature.
Quote Of The Day:
"The basic difference between being assertive and being aggressive is how our words and behavior affect the rights and well being of others."
-- Sharon Anthony Bower
Worth Noting:
Joe's making his famous pork chops for dinner tonight.
In The Background:
Joe has Seinfeld on downstairs.