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Sunday, Jan. 19, 2003
So I've recently become addicted to one of the newest reality TV shows, The Bachelorette. I suppose it's not easy to be Trista, having to break a few hearts because she's on this game show. On the other hand, she's faced with 25 potential suiters. So many men, so little time! Maybe she's not is such a bad position after all.
I love the show, and it's got me thinking. At the very least, it sort of has me somewhat eager to start dating again. But then I was also thinking, perhaps I could churn out a few diary entries based on guys I "meet" via a particular online dating service. I mean, I haven't run into any potential prince charmings yet, save one date I had with a guy I met at a karaoke bar. (And that date didn't go well at all!) So I thought it certainly couldn't hurt to see what the World Wide Web had to offer.
It would be awesome to start out with 25 guys who were interested in me, and each week, as I got to know them, I'd sift through them until I'm left with a few good ones. But real life isn't a game show. So I figured I could at least write about my experiences here, sort of Bachelorette-style, and just see how things go. I'll likely be faced with many a diss, while I'll likely also do my share of dissing. I will make up the "rules" as I go along. I can start this week with 12 guys, and every Sunday or so, I'll post an update.
Now, if this were a game show, Joe would be the defending champion of sorts. I can't leave him out for all the obvious reasons. I can't say there's no chance that we'd ever get back together.
Before I introduce the guys of the hour (for lack of any better term), let me share how this particular dating site, and my experience from it, seem to be working.
I started out my surfing by doing searches to see if there were any guys registered that I might be interested in. Much to my surprise, there are a lot with potential. I expressed my interest in about 40 guys, give or take! Some expressed a mutual interest and wrote to me. Many more I've yet to hear from. Many more than that have expressed interest in me in general, but I did not reciprocate the interest in most cases. Geography played a huge role in my selections, though I did try to remain open. Age also played a huge role. A handful of guys in their 50s wrote to me; 20 years my senior probably is not what I am seeking. Guys younger than 29 I tended to rule out too. A reminder: I am 33.
I posted a long-winded description to go with my profile. Here's what I wrote: "I have this 'friend' who is interested in seeing if she can meet anybody at all via one of these online dating thingys. Yeah, that's it. Meanwhile, I'm new to the Sunshine State, having moved here from Long Island, NY, in July 2002. I'm separated and am thinking I'd enjoy sharing my life with someone a little bit again. (Ya have to start somewhere, right?) I love traveling and singing and going out to eat. But that doesn't mean I don't like to cook--or like to be cooked for. :-D I have a dog and two cats--what can I say, pets are awesome! I have no kids and I hate that, but maybe hopefully some day. I consider myself to be spiritual but not necessarily religious. I like to think I'm somewhat witty, but I'm also kinda shy. Or maybe I'm very shy. But boy, can I talk--when I'm not too busy being shy, that is. I love dancing and writing, but I'm so not the athletic type--yet I *am* in a bowling league. lol. I love the beach but the ocean and I don't see eye to eye (read: I don't swim much). Although snorkeling is really cool, and maybe someday someone could convince me to try SCUBA. I like hiking too--and Florida has so many mountains for me to explore! (Oh well.) And while I miss colors of autumn since I've flown south, I do not miss the cold or the snow. I've never gone skiing, and I'm perfectly OK with that. Someone told me the trick is that you can't be afraid to fall. So much for that idea. I like to read, but I mostly read nonfiction or a magazine like O, Oprah's magazine. I'm not the type play games, and I love all the honesty that comes with not playing games, even when it means things are less than ideal. (Now, if we're talking board games, that's a whole 'nother story. I like playing *those* kinds of games.) I like to keep busy and have fun doing whatever it is I'm doing. And I like to think I'm an all-around good/nice person. Now, as for my friend...
And now, let's meet the current contenders (some names are modified).
John D.: He's 38 and lives in Orlando, FL. 5'11", brown eyes, black hair, is athletic and works in sales. He may just check his e-mail from work, because he wrote me Friday, and I replied, but I haven't heard from him since. A quote: "Glad you showed interest...would love to chat."
Fran X.: He's 34 and lives in Jacksonville, FL. He's 5'11", brown eyes, brown hair, works in sales. He likes to play golf and considers himself financially secure. A quote: "I am a 33 year old person who sometimes acts like a big kid."
Kevin H.: He's 35 and lives in Spring Hill, FL. He's 6'5", hazel eyes, brown hair. He's athletic and has a job in customer service/support. He asked for my picture and I haven't heard back from him yet. A quote: "[L]ooking for the impossible. The all [A]merican girl, sweet, strong, sexy, independent and dependent at the same time."
"Xcelor": He hasn't shared his first name yet. He's 33 and lives in Port Saint Lucie, FL. He's 5'10", blue eyes, blonde hair. He also requested a photo and I haven't yet heard back from him. A quote: "Just moved to this area and I am looking to meet some new people without doing the whole bar scene."
Rob P.: Rob is the first one I wrote to once I paid my silly membership fee. Beyond simply expressing interest, I think I chose to write him for one key reason: he's separated. Rob is 33 and lives in Cocoa, FL. He's 6'3", blue eyes, brown hair. He's athletic and is a writer. A quote: "I would like a little non-hostile companionship."
James S.: He's 34, hazel eyes, blonde hair, 6'2" and lives in Melbourne Beach. He has a great smile! He has a job in finance but also likes acting and modeling and plays keyboards in a band. A quote: "I am flexible, silly, compassionate, and have been told I have the patience of a saint."
Mike B: He's 34 and lives in Tampa, FL. He's 5'9", green eyes, brown hair. Mike loves kids, likes sports and was engaged once. He has a job in sales. A quote: "Things happen for a reason."
Tony H.: He's 35, blue eyes, blonde hair, 5'8" and lives in Tallahassee, FL. He has a cat and says he is athletic. His job is in Accounting/Finance. A quote: "[I']m in search for someone who likes going out, staying in, doing what they want to do, or never HAVING to do anything."
John S.: He's 40 and lives in Melbourne Beach. He's 5'9", blue eyes, brown hair. His job is in tech and recently relocated from Pennsylvania. A quote: "I am into boating, fishing (Saltwater), and just about anything that has to do with the beach or ocean."
Bob: He's 44 and lives in Gainsville, FL. He's 5'9", brown hair, brown eyes. He works for a nonprofit organization and likes to work out. A quote: "I love watching the stars from my back yard and think I'm just a hopeless romanic [sic]."
Bruce S.: He's 29 and a single dad to a four-year-old girl. He lives in Orlando, FL, is 5'9", hazel eyes, brown hair, has tattoos. His job is in construction and doesn't have the chance to get out much. A quote: "[I']m a crazy guy who likes to do almost anything."
Gary V.: Would you believe me if I told you this is the guy I bought my house from? We still live in the same town, and yet I ran into him in cyberspace, via that online dating site. He's 37, 5'9", blue eyes, light brown hair. He says it's blonde. Maybe he bleached it. In any case, I did not express an interest in him, but I have sort of been a little smitten since he first showed me the house. I wrote him to say hello. He has yet to reply. A quote: "I guess I could be described as a pretty down to earth guy."
The events since Friday: Fran, Mike, Tony and James each have given me their phone numbers. Only James is in my area code. I haven't called anyone yet. James asked me if I wanted to do something tomorrow. I may call him. Fran and I have been talking a little bit by Instant Messenger, as have Bruce and I. Fran's pretty funny. Bruce seems nice but might not be by type, or at least that's the sense I'm getting. Rob P. told me in e-mail all about his awful marriage to a British girl who ultimately needed a green card. He has two kids, and seems very open and honest. I wrote him the long story about my own marriage, but he hasn't written back to me. Bob has invited me to do the March of Dimes walk with him. I told him I'd think about it.
Joe and I talked by phone just twice this weekend (once of which was while I was midway through writing this entry). He's been keeping busy it seems. I know he misses the cat. I don't think he misses me all that much. I told him that I missed sharing my life with someone and that I still have it in my mind that, even though we aren't trying to work things out anymore, I still wonder if there could be a chance of us getting back together. I asked him what he thought and how he felt. I told him I still needed to hear it, whatever it was. His reply was essentially that he thinks we aren't getting back together because I moved away and things won't change between us. He never did say how he felt.
So, onward then.
Quote Of The Day:
"Get to know yourself. Know your own failings, passions and prejudices so you can separate them from what you see. Know also when you actually have thought through to the nature of the thing with which you are dealing and when you are not thinking at all... Knowing yourself and knowing the facts, you can judge whether you can change the situation so it is more to your liking."
-- Bernard M. Baruch
