October 30, Monday -- Trip Wrapup

Hi Kate,

I cannot stress this enough: When flying, volunteer-volunteer-volunteer to give up your seat if the flight is full or overbooked. I've learned you don't even need to wait for them to ask for volunteers. I figured I'd give it a shot cuz Belinda couldn't get standby on an earlier flight, so she's in N'awlins for the day. And that way I could have stayed to hang with her, plus get that free round-trip voucher they give you for getting bumped. Well, they didn't need me to give up my seat, but because I volunteered, they bumped me up to First Class!! So here I sit. Living large in an extra-wide seat with a glass of Cabernet.

Anyway, the rest of my adventures for this weekend go something like this:

I got to St. Louis Friday night and got in line for booking my connection to New Orleans. On line behind me was Marlo, a 19-year-old Santa Barbara, Calif., chickie freaking out because she missed her connection to Cleveland. So I offered her to stay in a hotel room with me. Behind us is Aaron, 26, in the service, also stranded in St. Louis for the night, having missed his connection to Raleigh-Durham, N.C., I think. So the three of us arranged for our stay at the Sheraton, which turned out to be only $45. Yes, Aaron got his own room. Then we grabbed a bite to eat and hopped in a cab to see the famous St. Louis Arch. Aaron and I also popped into one of those docked casino boats -- Marlo was too young, so she kept the security guards company for about a half hour. I got all of about two hours of sleep that night before heading back to the airport. But it was a nice night, and I was glad I had the chance to see a bit of Missouri with good company. :)

I got to N'awlins by 10 a.m. Saturday. Belinda and I met up with a friend of hers for lunch, then we walked around the French Market for some serious shopping before it was time to head back to our hotel for some serious napping! Belinda and I planned a four-hour nap, as we were both pretty exhausted. We had dinner and then hit Bourbon Street. Talk about crazy! The later it got, the more puke you could smell and the more garbage filled the street. We crashed a party at the Royal Sonesta because, well, we wanted to see Bourbon Street by balcony. Our plan was to say, if questioned, that we were with Joe. That Joe invited us. And we eventually met the host -- Kenny -- and he told us we could stay. But then we met Joe. And when Kenny realized Joe didn't know us, we were kindly asked to leave (hahaha). We held back cracking up till we reached the elevator (hee-hee-hee).

Thanks to Daylight Savings Time ending, we managed to get to bed by 3 a.m. On Sunday, we called Annie to tell her we missed her, and went to the Aquarium of the Americas and an IMAX movie about dolphins. Then we sat through a boring 90-minute time share presentation in order to get a free dinner on one of those Mississippi River boats cruises. The cruise was kinda neat, and dinner was really quite good, but we needed yet another nap. We were back at our room by 10 p.m. and intended to sleep for two hours before hitting Bourbon Street again. But the front desk overlooked our wake-up call request and Belinda kinda set the alarm for noon instead of midnight. She woke me at 1:30 a.m., but we both seemed pretty content to catch up on some sleep instead.

My flight today was at 12:35 p.m., so there really wasn't time for anything else this morning. We had perfect weather all weekend, probably because Belinda packed two umbrellas. And I'd stay at Placé D'Armes again too. We couldn't have been in a better location. Hopefully I'll get back there someday. Thought I won't be going anywhere for a little while, as I have to save up for my and Joe's trip to Hawaii in February. And you can bet I'm going to test my volunteering-to-get-bumped theory then too. It'd be great to fly to Hawaii First Class.

The landing gear is out. Better go. It's nice not being at work today.

October | September | August

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October 27, Friday -- Perchy's Travels, St. Louis-New Orleans 2000

Hi Kate,

I'm having another one of those really amazing experiences. I'm writing this from a plane at about 33,000 feet on my way to St. Louis, MO. Only it's not the flight I originally intended to catch.

I thought I was going to New Orleans tonight. I left work at 3:00 p.m. for my 5:30 flight, which connects through St. Louis.

Tip No. 1: Never try to get a cab to the airport (JFK specifically) after 3:00 p.m. Taxi drivers' shifts change at 3:30, so no one will take you at that time because if they are late back to the central office, they have to pay a fine. (The drivers on the next shift can't make their tips if they have no car to drive.)

I at least got a cab to Port Authority on 8th Avenue to catch the airport shuttle.

Tip No. 2: When taking the shuttle to the airport, keep in mind that the bus will stop at both Port Authority locations to load passengers. It will likewise stop at every gate at the airport, in no particular order, to drop off passengers. This factors in to how much travel time you need to allow.

Tip No. 3: When flying the day after the World Series is played in your city, allow for LOTS of extra airport traffic.

I finally made it to TWA check-in by 5:50 -- or at least the line for check-in.

Tip No. 4: Don't drink a bottle of water while you are on a bus stuck in traffic going to the airport. God, I had to pee!

But I wanted to figure out what I was going to do with my flight first. While waiting on line I called Belinda in Texas -- who was meeting me in New Orleans -- to let her know I missed the flight but I'd call her back when I knew more about when I'd actually get there. Then I called Joe at home. I thought he'd be mad, but he was actually just concerned along with me. And really, my biggest concern was getting to the lu ASAP!!! Finally, an available check-in clerk. The next flight leaves for St. Louis at 7:55 p.m., but I would miss my connection to New Orleans by an hour, with the next flight from St. Louis to New Orleans not until 8:00 a.m. the next day. I went with that though, because if I left from New York tomorrow morning, I wouldn't get to New Orleans until nearly 3 in the afternoon. And it's only a short weekend trip, so I'd rather just get there as soon as possible, which would be about 10 a.m.

So anyways, I got my new ticket and found the nearest ladies room. I had to plug my cell phone in somewhere too, cuz the battery was on its way out. Plugged in, I called Belinda and Joe back fill them them each in on my updated plans. Then I called Annie in Florida, who was supposed to be coming to N'awlins too until she realized that the shoulder surgery she just had would prevent her from feeling up to it. Annie suggested I reroute my trip tonight through Orlando. After all, I'd then have a place to stay. And sure enough, there was a flight to Orlando at 9:00 p.m. So I hung up with Annie and entrusted my plugged-in cell with a complete stranger while I headed back to check-in to give a new flight plan a shot. But when you are flying on a cheapie ticket like me, I am apparently lucky I was able to get on a later flight to St. Louis.

How perfect would that have been though, to see Annie this weekend after all? (OK, so I went to Florida to see her last weekend, but still...and those frequent flier miles would have been great too...)

So I headed back to the St. Louis gate to call Annie again. Then I tried getting a rate for a Days Inn in St. Louis. As I said to Annie, I'd need a one-hour miracle to make my connection to N'awlins, or just $50 for a night in St. Louis.

Frankly, I'm psyched either way. I'm enjoying the adventure. I keep reminding myself that everything happens perfectly. Missing my flight isn't gonna stop me from having fun. Should I miss my N'awlins connection and stay in St. Louis, it would mean I get to color in one more state on my map of states I've been to! Hey, this is no layover at St. Louis Airport. If I've gotta spring for a room in St. Louis, than Missouri counts!! Belinda should be set whether I arrive tonight or not. And I told Joe and Annie I'd keep them posted on my whereabouts. Now, it's not a bathroom I need, but food. Pretzels -- stale pretzels -- won't cut it.

TO BE CONTINUED...

October | September | August

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October 15, Sunday -- The Ugliest Bathroom For Sure

Dear Kate,

Well, we're officially entered into Long Island's Ugliest Bathroom Contest.

We've lived here a little more than a year and have made little progress with its complete overhaul. There are new windows in the rooms that will eventually be my office and small bathroom; we got a new gas dryer to replace our broken electric one; the front lawn looks good; and there are boxes of ceramic tile in the garage awaiting placement in our foyer. The upstairs bathroom is supposed to be our next project, once a few of the current projects are completed. But until it gets done, I've been very impatient about the whole thing, which was why I was thrilled when I heard about this ugly-bathroom contest sponsored in part by one of the local radio stations. In fact, I find it very hard to believe that a bathroom worse than ours can exist.

And, of course, the prize: "A Free Luxury Bathroom," complete with Kohler fixtures and Polcelanosa tile. Joe, er, your father has wanted to move the location of the tub in order to make room for a third bathroom on the other side of that wall, but the contest rules specifically state "direct replacement." Hmph...

And speaking of Joe, he and I had quite the conversation last night. It left me feeling like I am ready for kids more than ever. I mean, I've always wanted kids, yet I'd been finding all sorts of reasons to put off having them. And though lately I've caught myself smiling at the thought of being pregnant, never have I wanted this so strongly.

So whenever the stork feels like showing up at our front door, we'll be ready. Hopefully we'll have two or three new bathrooms by then though. :-)

October | September | August

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October 10, Tuesday -- Growing Pains

Dear Kate,

Tomorrow doesn't exist.

As if it were something from my childhood that I never completely let go of, tomorrow doesn't exist because of something that happened when I was 16. And I guess I haven't completely let it go.

My first real boyfriend broke up with me.

The scene of the crime was at my high school homecoming, in the hallway by the gymnasium. My boyfriend and I were standing around with a group of roughly a dozen of our mutual friends when, during the first conversational lull, he blurts out: "So Sue, how does it feel to be single?"

He swears he told me in an earlier conversation that he thought we should just be friends or something. Yet I don't recall him wording anything in any such way that led me to think we were breaking up, so I clearly and grossly misunderstood. And on homecoming day, in the company of our mutual friends, when he asked me how it felt to be single, I couldn't answer. Humiliation was the least of it. And I ran off with tears in my teen-age eyes.

I was in love for as much as a 16-year-old is capable of being in love. And I was heartbroken as much as a 16-year-old feels the pain of a broken heart.

A few years later to the day, my best friend at the time was also dumped. We were older. She was taking it well, I might add. And together we took control of the situation: We decided that never again would the date of Oct. 11 exist on any calendar. And it hasn't.

At any rate, I don't still harbor over the heartache of 14 years ago. If anything, the day reminds me also of the camaraderie I had with my best bud at the time -- there was something kind of fun in declaring the day nonexistent. So now it's kind of nice to have a good memory to replace a bad one.

Another incident of "association replacement" occurred recently with a song that once reminded me of someone I'm no longer friends with. (I hate when that happens.) I heard it at my friend Jen's wedding in September. She danced with her dad to that song. So when I hear it now, I can't help but think of her special moment. It makes me smile.

It takes time for things like this to happen, but as time heals all wounds, it also alters our perception of past events.

It no longer surprises me how much time changes things. I've nearly come to expect it. It amazes me, though, how "last year" always seems like yesterday but "a year from now" always seems so far away.

October | September | August

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October 6, Friday -- History Is History: The New Math

Dear Kate,

We've got lessons to learn and we're going to learn them--in this lifetime or the next one. Personally, I want to get it right THIS time around, just in case I don't get another shot later on....

If we find ourselves in a situation that almost seems doomed to repeat itself, it's up to us to break the pattern. If we're lucky enough to recognize we've been there before, we're blessed with a surefire sign that we need to change our course. Cycles are bad. It means something isn't changing. It means a lesson isn't getting learned.

More often than not we look for outside fixes to internal problems, and then blame things and people and come up with all sorts of reasons why something isn't! But we've got to get to the root of the problem and the heart of the matter and learn our lessons well. Those types of answers are always within.

Recognizing a cycle is such a gift. If we can see it coming, we ought to know better not to take the same steps we took the last time. But all too often we don't pay attention to the signs because we figure we've been down this road before. Thing is, we're never going to get to where we want to be if we don't pay attention to the signs.

It's hard to do the thing you aren't used to. It's certainly always easiest to stick with what you know, but 2+2 will never equal 5. If you want 5, you have to change the equation. The "how" is entirely up to you.

October | September | August

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September 20, Wednesday

Dear Kate,

Today, I gave myself power with polish. A bright, fuchsia-purple nail polish, that is.

If there's one thing I'll never forget that a friend--call her my other mother, if you will--once told me, it's this: Whenever something is bothering you, do something that makes you feel pretty.

It sounds so simplistic. So basic. So the last thing I'd think to do when I'm stressing about this, that or the other thing. But surprisingly, it works like a brand new battery. It really helps me recharge! Polishing my nails with a new color was today's assignment.

Whether it's polishing your nails, shaving with the precision you'd take when you are preparing to make love to a man for the first time, shopping (a cure for depression in and of itself) for a new outfit, or rubbing a soft-scented lotion all over your body, remembering this simple advice can be the first step toward reclaiming your power.

October | September | August

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September 11, Monday

Dear Kate,

Today, I smiled at least twice. :) Once because of something I said; once because of something I did.

Most of the best accounts of my life aren't in my past journals but in my letters to someone else. This morning I happened to read one of those hypothetical letters you write when you are angry or upset with someone but never actually send. In this particular case, I was writing to someone who was mad at me. In rereading it, as if by chance, I think I gave myself some very good advice: "You have a choice. You can learn to live with your anger or you can learn to let it go."

Heh! Rereading that reminded me of what a relief it can be to simply stop banging my head against a wall!

And the other thing that made me smile today...

I'm in a position to hire people at my job. Specifically, I've been looking to fill an editorial position. One woman who submitted her resume seemed to have really good experience, but there were two obvious typos in her cover letter. Due to the nature of the position, I couldn't bring myself to call her in for an interview because of the misspellings. Yet I was inspired to write her, pointing out her mistakes as if to help her to be more careful in the future so that she might get the better job she probably deserves. It felt good to send the letter. I certainly didn't need to do that. But I felt even better when I received her reply. She wasn't defensive; she didn't make excuses. She was very professional and appreciative. And I'll be sure to consider her for a position the next time something opens. But I was glad I sent that letter. It reminded me that kindness doesn't always go unnoticed. I should be aware of and follow through with such things in the future.

I noticed it was dark today when I got home from work. Yeah, I have a long commute and get home later than most 9-to-5ers, but there wasn't even a touch of twilight. Fall is here. Winter is coming. Can't wait till spring.

Happy birthday, Frank!

October | September | August

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September 4, Monday

Dear Kate,

You know those warm fuzzies you experience when you feel really close to someone?

It's amazing how wonderful I can feel just knowing that someone is a part of my life. Many people come into our lives for a reason. More often than not, we don't know that reason at the time.

Not too long ago, for example, I wrote a list that included about a dozen women who had some sort of positive influence on my life, from the time I was born, through all my years of school and into adulthood. I was so glad to have known every single one of them. Yet most of them aren't a part of my day-to-day life now.

In looking closely at those relationships, I figured our time together simply lived out its purpose. Sometimes, I could figure out what that purpose was. Most times though, I couldn't understand. How could something so good go so bad and all those warm fuzzies turn cold?

It became easier to remember the painful, hurtful stuff. But I couldn't ignore all the joy I once felt either. I was coming from a place of gratitude; I was feeling grateful for all they've ever been to me.

While it was easy to remember fondly my 10th grade math teacher and all the ways she inspired me, it was harder to get passed tiffs with girl friends that would snowball and cause an eventual "breakup." (Ever break up with a girl friend? ugh!) Yet I can't and won't ever forget them. I may never pick up the phone and call them, and they won't even be on my Christmas card list this year, but I'm sure it's better this way. We can't all be what we used to be even though we often look back at and long for what once was.

We move on. It's all good. Everything works out for the best. This is precisely why we should be so grateful for all of our special relationships. We've taken more than we wish to admit from these relationships; they've made us who we are now. Perfect!

October | September | August

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August 18, Friday

Dear Kate,

Everything happens perfectly. The struggles, the conflicts we're often faced with...look at them and notice what it is that is important to you. It is all you need to know. What is it that is important to you? Listen to your gut. Always do what feels right to you. And don't second guess yourself.

Even if things don't work out the way they are supposed to in your own mind, as long as you do what feels right, you'll never be off course. Remember that you only get to write your own script. Everyone else has their own agenda, their own script to write. Find peace and comfort in knowing that as long as your script includes what feels right to you, everything is just perfect.

October | September | August

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